How to Greet the Queen by Caroline Taggart

Author:Caroline Taggart
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781909815773
Publisher: Pavilion Books
Published: 2014-11-17T16:00:00+00:00

Even if it has been made clear that one person is intending to pay, well-mannered guests will offer to contribute their share; the host should refuse the offer firmly but graciously, and the guests should then back down without further ado. If it seems appropriate they may pay for a further round of drinks or the taxi home; otherwise they should accept the generosity in the spirit in which it is intended and say, ‘On me next time.’ One way to avoid any dispute over the bill is for the host to go to the loo when the meal is almost over; he or she can then discreetly stop at the bar or the till and pay before returning to the table.

The guest who will barely eat at all is, in his or her own way, every bit as troublesome as the one who orders foie gras and lobster. If your diet is restricted for cultural or health reasons, warn your host in advance. Once in the restaurant, don’t make a commotion about your need for dairy-free or whatever it may be: choose something that looks as if it will suit your requirements, ask the waiter (quietly) to confirm that it does and have an alternative choice ready in case it doesn’t. Many restaurants will omit an offending sauce if requested to do so. Don’t confuse a dislike of a certain food with an allergy: if your plate appears with something unheralded that you don’t like, push it quietly to one side and eat round it. Only if you are genuinely likely to be physically unwell or suffer from anaphylactic shock should you ask for the plate to be taken away altogether.

If your difficulty is that you have a very small appetite, there is no disgrace in ordering two starters, even if the first one is a tiny salad. But no one should be forced into eating more than they want to, so if you want only one course, say so and make it clear that you are happy to sip wine or water while everyone else has a first course. Do not use your abstemiousness to make anyone else feel greedy. Her Ladyship once went to a restaurant with an acquaintance who rebuked her for the amount of wine she drank with dinner, conveniently forgetting that she had herself had three large whiskies beforehand. Some fifteen years later, Her Ladyship still allows that to rankle.

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